My ICU Review: Addenbrooke’s

It was my birthday 2 days ago; I am now 24! Hooray!!!

How did I celebrate? Well… I had to attend my ICU review at Addenbrooke’s in Cambridge! Yeah… not a way to celebrate but it was a really positive day and I would love to share with you, fellow superheroes!

I was really calm about attending my review; at my first review at King’s Lynn, I was a quivering wreck. I think because I had already experienced a Critical Care review, this helped me to prepare for my review at Cambridge.

God bless you Greater Anglia for free Wi-Fi! Not sure if I could have endured the train journey there and back without it!

*WARNING MAY BE DISTRESSING FOR SOME READERS*

I think there should be a Sat-Nav for Addenbrooke’s as it is a maze! I lost count the amount of times we got lost and even some staff members didn’t know where to direct us! It was funny but, in a way, I am glad we got lost because we turned a corner and in front of us, there was a door.

I thought to myself, ‘I remember that door.’

It wasn’t just any door. It was the door that led to a garden. The garden in which I went to, during my time in ICU and I thought that it would be the last time I would ever be able to go outside.

I sat in my wheelchair; in the exact spot I was in 10 months ago.

And now…

I looked at the buildings around me, thinking back to when I looked into Ewan’s eyes and they were the most perfect blue eyes I had ever seen, just before the first photo was took. It was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.

We had 30 minutes to spare, or in our case continue looking for where we needed to go!

Thankfully, mum spotted a sign for the department and we finally signed in with a few minutes to spare.

At first, we saw a nurse and she explained that the purpose of my review is to hopefully answer any questions I have and to discuss my progress.

She then handed me a booklet, which was a diary that the ICU nurses kept for me. They wrote about how I was, who came to visit me. The nurse asked if I was OK with the picture that was in the diary, I only remember 1 photo and I was hoping it was the one I was thinking of.

I remember this being took, the lovely nurses had arranged for a dog to come and visit me, to cheer me up. I can’t remember his name but he was so soft and incredibly gentle. He was a BIG boy though!

It didn’t make me cry when I saw the photo, I just smiled.

There were quite a few entries from various nurses, in my diary, so I wanted to read them when I got home.

The nurse asked if I had any questions about my time in ICU. I only had a few in mind which were

  • Did I have sepsis? – In my discharge summary, from rehab, it stated that I had sepsis. Thankfully, the nurse confirmed that I did not have sepsis. Honestly, I don’t think my body could take much more if I had contracted it.
  • Was I close to death? – Some of you may think it was a silly question to ask but for me, I was curious because I had been through so much and every doctor is surprised that I survived. The nurse said that my body was incredibly weak. She couldn’t say anything else.
  • Was I in a coma? – I know I was in a coma at King’s Lynn but there were days at Addenbrooke’s that I cannot remember at all. She told me I was slightly sedated so that explained why I could only remember patches.

After a few more minutes of chatting, we had to see a consultant – not sure why but I am just assuming that it was routine. He asked me if I would like to see the ward I was on, the one before being transferred back to King’s Lynn. I was prepared this time so I agreed. I am glad he took us to the ward because God knows where we would have ended up!

Nurses still remembered me but I could only remember a few. There was one nurse in particular that I really wanted to see, Will, it was his day off. He was a diamond and always made me smile. The girls said they would tell him I was asking after him and how I was doing.

I eventually saw the bay I was in. There was a patient in the bed, asleep. I looked at all the nurses and thought ‘They really know what they’re doing’ and within seconds, something just clicked inside my head.

I was well looked after; they deal with a variety of situations on a daily basis. At that time, when I was the patient, I didn’t know that. I didn’t know these people so I didn’t trust them. I quickly realised that I would not have got this far if they had not looked after me.

Now, I accept what has happened to me, I accept it was very traumatic, I accept I may still experience flashbacks. I accept it all.

And I’m OK with that.

Posted by

Hey fellow superheroes! I'm Ami, I'm 24 and I live in Norfolk, UK. On my blog, UndercoverSuperhero, I openly talk about my recovery journey which stemmed from being in hospital and a specialist neurological rehabilitation centre for 9 months. I talk about how I maintain a positive mindset whilst coming to terms with my disability. I love superheroes, so much so that my partner and I are having a superhero themed wedding! I generally like to talk about anything and everything on my blog, I also have an ongoing series called "The Reality of..." which allows readers and bloggers to raise awareness of the disabilities, mental illnesses, chronic illnesses, impairments, that they live with as it is so important to raise awareness! Everybody has a voice! 💚

14 thoughts on “My ICU Review: Addenbrooke’s

    1. Thank you so much! I will admit, there have been times where I think ‘how am I so calm about it all?’ It is one of my goals to support others who have been through something similar. It’s a journey that should not be taken alone ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Whatever you’ve been through you were so brave and I think it’s incredible that you’re sharing your story, you should be so proud! I have followed your blog and can not wait to read more from you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A very moving post, Ami. I had tears in my eyes reading it. You have come such a long way in a short period of time – well done! You should be very proud of yourself. Your story will help to inspire others in a similar situation. Thanks for sharing. xx 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, I was crying my eyes out writing this, not sad tears but I think tears of relief because I have finally accepted it all ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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