It was my birthday 2 days ago; I am now 24! Hooray!!!
How did I celebrate? Well… I had to attend my ICU review at Addenbrooke’s in Cambridge! Yeah… not a way to celebrate but it was a really positive day and I would love to share with you, fellow superheroes!
I was really calm about attending my review; at my first review at King’s Lynn, I was a quivering wreck. I think because I had already experienced a Critical Care review, this helped me to prepare for my review at Cambridge.
God bless you Greater Anglia for free Wi-Fi! Not sure if I could have endured the train journey there and back without it!
*WARNING MAY BE DISTRESSING FOR SOME READERS*
I think there should be a Sat-Nav for Addenbrooke’s as it is a maze! I lost count the amount of times we got lost and even some staff members didn’t know where to direct us! It was funny but, in a way, I am glad we got lost because we turned a corner and in front of us, there was a door.
I thought to myself, ‘I remember that door.’
It wasn’t just any door. It was the door that led to a garden. The garden in which I went to, during my time in ICU and I thought that it would be the last time I would ever be able to go outside.
I sat in my wheelchair; in the exact spot I was in 10 months ago.
I looked at the buildings around me, thinking back to when I looked into Ewan’s eyes and they were the most perfect blue eyes I had ever seen, just before the first photo was took. It was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.
We had 30 minutes to spare, or in our case continue looking for where we needed to go!
Thankfully, mum spotted a sign for the department and we finally signed in with a few minutes to spare.
At first, we saw a nurse and she explained that the purpose of my review is to hopefully answer any questions I have and to discuss my progress.
She then handed me a booklet, which was a diary that the ICU nurses kept for me. They wrote about how I was, who came to visit me. The nurse asked if I was OK with the picture that was in the diary, I only remember 1 photo and I was hoping it was the one I was thinking of.
I remember this being took, the lovely nurses had arranged for a dog to come and visit me, to cheer me up. I can’t remember his name but he was so soft and incredibly gentle. He was a BIG boy though!
It didn’t make me cry when I saw the photo, I just smiled.
There were quite a few entries from various nurses, in my diary, so I wanted to read them when I got home.
The nurse asked if I had any questions about my time in ICU. I only had a few in mind which were
- Did I have sepsis? – In my discharge summary, from rehab, it stated that I had sepsis. Thankfully, the nurse confirmed that I did not have sepsis. Honestly, I don’t think my body could take much more if I had contracted it.
- Was I close to death? – Some of you may think it was a silly question to ask but for me, I was curious because I had been through so much and every doctor is surprised that I survived. The nurse said that my body was incredibly weak. She couldn’t say anything else.
- Was I in a coma? – I know I was in a coma at King’s Lynn but there were days at Addenbrooke’s that I cannot remember at all. She told me I was slightly sedated so that explained why I could only remember patches.
After a few more minutes of chatting, we had to see a consultant – not sure why but I am just assuming that it was routine. He asked me if I would like to see the ward I was on, the one before being transferred back to King’s Lynn. I was prepared this time so I agreed. I am glad he took us to the ward because God knows where we would have ended up!
Nurses still remembered me but I could only remember a few. There was one nurse in particular that I really wanted to see, Will, it was his day off. He was a diamond and always made me smile. The girls said they would tell him I was asking after him and how I was doing.
I eventually saw the bay I was in. There was a patient in the bed, asleep. I looked at all the nurses and thought ‘They really know what they’re doing’ and within seconds, something just clicked inside my head.
I was well looked after; they deal with a variety of situations on a daily basis. At that time, when I was the patient, I didn’t know that. I didn’t know these people so I didn’t trust them. I quickly realised that I would not have got this far if they had not looked after me.
Now, I accept what has happened to me, I accept it was very traumatic, I accept I may still experience flashbacks. I accept it all.
And I’m OK with that.