Low Self-Esteem & Ways To Be Kind To Yourself

Think back to your teenage years…did you ever tell yourself any of the following?

• “I’m ugly”
• “I’m fat”
• “I’m not perfect enough”
• “Nobody will ever like me”
• “I’m not good enough”

And more? I told myself these things on a daily basis.

During these years, I had every reason to tell myself these. I was bullied, not just at school but at home too. Nobody else was saying nice things to me so why should I compliment myself?

Puberty is the prime time for adolescents – wanting to be perfect and nothing less. Although being young and naive, we only have one mindset. This needs to change. We should be building each other up and not crushing each other’s self-esteem!

As we become older, we realise just how much a low self-esteem can have a devastating impact on our mental health. Not just during puberty but later on in life too. Like I said, this needs to change! And here’s how…


There needs to be more support available, especially at secondary school. One-to-one sessions talking about how a student is feeling, if they are being bullied and even how they are coping with the work they are given. This should be available both in—person and online for those who don’t feel comfortable with talking face to face. Unless the student is at risk, then they should be given the right to remain anonymous. All discussions should be confidential and action plans need to be put in place.

Make a list

Make a list of your strengths and qualities. The easiest option is to focus on our weaknesses but the more you do this, then the more of a lasting impact it will have on your self-esteem. I have a list of my strengths and I couldn’t notice a difference at first, but now I tell myself these things without having to look at my list and I feel so much happier with myself!

Here is my list:

• I am a fighter
• I have a good sense of humour
• I am a good listener (despite being deaf)
• I am kind

The list goes on… My niece even added one to my list, ‘I am the best auntie’ – It can’t get any better than that, can it?

Do’s and Don’ts

DON’T judge others because of their appearance or personality, or for any reason. You all are going through a time where you are learning about yourselves and understandably, this is overwhelming.

DO compliment each other – “Your hair looks nice” or “Your t-shirt is awesome, where did you get it from?” – Small but effective compliments like these will boost self-esteem. Not just for the person you are complimenting, but for yourself too.

DON’T put pressure on yourself, if you don’t feel comfortable in doing or saying something then don’t. It really is as simple as that.

DO say ‘No’. It’s OK to say ‘No’. Not only will these help you to set boundaries but this will help you to become more assertive too.

Each and every single one of you is beautiful, inside and out!

Got any suggestions for ways to boost one’s self-esteem? I would love to read them!

10 thoughts on “Low Self-Esteem & Ways To Be Kind To Yourself

  1. This is a brilliant post! Writing down your strengths and qualities is such good advice. At times when we are feeling low, we can look at that list to make us feel better about ourselves. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a really lovely post – and relevant to adults as well as teenagers! It can be so uplifting focusing on the positives, but so much easier said than done sometimes. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think that we forget as adults just how confusing a time it is when you are a teenager and trying to figure out who you are and your place in the world. I still have low self-esteem and issues from my teenage years.
    I think listening and validating that the emotions are real are two of the most powerful things.
    I was so lucky that my parents signed a consent form for me to see the school counsellor (sessions were confidential unless safety issues) because it was the first time that I met someone who listened to me and didn’t tell me that I was over reacting or that I should try harder to fit in for people to like me. I don’t remember action plans (other than to see my GP because she thought I might be clinically depressed – I was, childrens mental health only offered me a different counsellor so I was like nah I’ll stick to the one I like at school.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post, I think a lot of people will be able to relate with this post, I know I was able to as I still suffer with problems with my self – esteem. Such a great read. X

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I struggled with low self-esteem when I was a teenager and I think I struggle with it more now. I got bullied so much by other people that unfortunately, I realised that I started bullying myself. That list idea of yours is a very good idea and I will try it soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a very sweet post. I honestly love positive affirmations and feel like they are very powerful when utilized!


    Liked by 1 person

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