Low Self-Esteem & Ways To Be Kind To Yourself

Think back to your teenage years…did you ever tell yourself any of the following?

• “I’m ugly”
• “I’m fat”
• “I’m not perfect enough”
• “Nobody will ever like me”
• “I’m not good enough”

And more? I told myself these things on a daily basis.

During these years, I had every reason to tell myself these. I was bullied, not just at school but at home too. Nobody else was saying nice things to me so why should I compliment myself?

Puberty is the prime time for adolescents – wanting to be perfect and nothing less. Although being young and naive, we only have one mindset. This needs to change. We should be building each other up and not crushing each other’s self-esteem!

As we become older, we realise just how much a low self-esteem can have a devastating impact on our mental health. Not just during puberty but later on in life too. Like I said, this needs to change! And here’s how…

Support

There needs to be more support available, especially at secondary school. One-to-one sessions talking about how a student is feeling, if they are being bullied and even how they are coping with the work they are given. This should be available both in—person and online for those who don’t feel comfortable with talking face to face. Unless the student is at risk, then they should be given the right to remain anonymous. All discussions should be confidential and action plans need to be put in place.

Make a list

Make a list of your strengths and qualities. The easiest option is to focus on our weaknesses but the more you do this, then the more of a lasting impact it will have on your self-esteem. I have a list of my strengths and I couldn’t notice a difference at first, but now I tell myself these things without having to look at my list and I feel so much happier with myself!

Here is my list:

• I am a fighter
• I have a good sense of humour
• I am a good listener (despite being deaf)
• I am kind

The list goes on… My niece even added one to my list, ‘I am the best auntie’ – It can’t get any better than that, can it?

Do’s and Don’ts

DON’T judge others because of their appearance or personality, or for any reason. You all are going through a time where you are learning about yourselves and understandably, this is overwhelming.

DO compliment each other – “Your hair looks nice” or “Your t-shirt is awesome, where did you get it from?” – Small but effective compliments like these will boost self-esteem. Not just for the person you are complimenting, but for yourself too.

DON’T put pressure on yourself, if you don’t feel comfortable in doing or saying something then don’t. It really is as simple as that.

DO say ‘No’. It’s OK to say ‘No’. Not only will these help you to set boundaries but this will help you to become more assertive too.

Each and every single one of you is beautiful, inside and out!

Got any suggestions for ways to boost one’s self-esteem? I would love to read them!

Posted by

Hey fellow superheroes! I'm Ami, I'm 24 and I live in Norfolk, UK. On my blog, UndercoverSuperhero, I openly talk about my recovery journey which stemmed from being in hospital and a specialist neurological rehabilitation centre for 9 months. I talk about how I maintain a positive mindset whilst coming to terms with my disability. I love superheroes, so much so that my partner and I are having a superhero themed wedding! I generally like to talk about anything and everything on my blog, I also have an ongoing series called "The Reality of..." which allows readers and bloggers to raise awareness of the disabilities, mental illnesses, chronic illnesses, impairments, that they live with as it is so important to raise awareness! Everybody has a voice! 💚

43 thoughts on “Low Self-Esteem & Ways To Be Kind To Yourself

  1. This is a brilliant post! Writing down your strengths and qualities is such good advice. At times when we are feeling low, we can look at that list to make us feel better about ourselves. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve always struggled with my self-esteem and still at 48 I have low self-esteem. I cannot take any kind of compliment because I was never given any growing up. My mother never showed any love or affection for me and my Dad spent his time asking me why I couldn’t be more like so and so, who he coached – he coached athletics – I was an A+ student at everything except PE. lol These are great suggestions! 😀

    Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip || Latest Post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that you went through all that 😞 I know what you mean, I really struggled receiving compliments from males in particularly. I’ve not had the best ‘Male role-models’ in my life and it’s still very much an ongoing process. I’ve only recently began accepting compliments from my fiance! Thanks for sharing tour experience with me 🙂

      Like

    1. I’m sorry to hear you have self-esteem issues. It is a long journey to overcome them but small steps can make a big change 🙂

      Like

    1. I’m so sorry 😞 I’ve only recently blocked someone out of my life as they too were a narcissist and it actually led me to having a breakdown. I am lucky to be surrounded by really supportive family and friends, and the blogging community ❤ I’m only a message away if you ever need to talk to someone 🙂

      Like

      1. Oh I’m awesome but I appreciate it! Once I knew she was a Narcissistic mother I felt a freedom I never had before bc I knew then that all those years, I wasn’t stupid love I was told I was and that she was evil and mean on purpose and she was never going to love me! I’m 55 now and just had this happen this year. I’m amazing!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a really lovely post – and relevant to adults as well as teenagers! It can be so uplifting focusing on the positives, but so much easier said than done sometimes. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is honestly such a beautiful and inspiring post. I think more people need to be reminded of this even if they don’t struggle horribly with low self esteem. One thing is sure, you’ll never talk to anyone else more than you talk to yourself in your head so it’s important to make sure that you’re saying all the right things!♥️ Great post and thanks so much for sharing the encouragement!!
    https://jessierenea.com/5-ways-to-bounce-back-from-failure/

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this post, self-esteem is one of the hardest things to maintain. I think though as we get older we care less about what others think and truly start loving ourselves for who we really are. I just wish I had the insight I have now back when I was younger! Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree! I wish our generation was more accepting during that time. I am hopeful for the younger generations now that they are becoming more accepting 🙂

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  6. I think that we forget as adults just how confusing a time it is when you are a teenager and trying to figure out who you are and your place in the world. I still have low self-esteem and issues from my teenage years.
    I think listening and validating that the emotions are real are two of the most powerful things.
    I was so lucky that my parents signed a consent form for me to see the school counsellor (sessions were confidential unless safety issues) because it was the first time that I met someone who listened to me and didn’t tell me that I was over reacting or that I should try harder to fit in for people to like me. I don’t remember action plans (other than to see my GP because she thought I might be clinically depressed – I was, childrens mental health only offered me a different counsellor so I was like nah I’ll stick to the one I like at school.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m sorry to hear that you still have low self-esteem. I’m really glad that you received support during school, that is wonderful! I think you are brave and amazing for opening up 🙂❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post, I think a lot of people will be able to relate with this post, I know I was able to as I still suffer with problems with my self – esteem. Such a great read. X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Sorry to hear you still struggle, you are doing amazing things from what I’ve seen! ❤

      Like

    1. I’m sorry that you struggle sometimes but I’m happy to hear that writing a list of your qualities helps! I’m only an email, message or tweet away if you ever want to reach out and talk 🙂

      Like

  8. This is such an uplifting post, Ami. We all need to give each other a boost now and again. A complement or simple sign of support to someone costs nothing and goes a long way in helping to make someone’s day. I really like your strengths list and think it is really positive. I sometimes have days where I feel down and useless and will make a list like this myself to remind me that I do have some positives, so thanks. x 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I struggled with low self-esteem when I was a teenager and I think I struggle with it more now. I got bullied so much by other people that unfortunately, I realised that I started bullying myself. That list idea of yours is a very good idea and I will try it soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to hear that you still struggle with it 😞 it is disheartening and challenging to cope with, if you ever need to talk, I’m only an email/message/tweet away 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  10. This is a very sweet post. I honestly love positive affirmations and feel like they are very powerful when utilized!

    Cherish

    Liked by 1 person

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