Rant – 01

Right now, I feel angry, frustrated, exhausted, drained, the lot. Why? Because of other people.

I don’t know where to begin there is so much going on right now. I just need somewhere where I can let my feelings out. So, this isn’t going to be a standard blog post.

This is going to be nothing but the truth.

I’m sick of how people treat me and speak to me. Or in some cases, don’t bother speaking to me at all.

Do people have any idea how isolating it is to have hearing difficulties?

It pisses me off how people are in the room and act like I’m not there, don’t even bother acknowledging me. Have I done something wrong? Is it because I’m disabled?

It takes a lot for me to snap and im on the edge at breaking point.

But…it doesn’t matter does it?

I’m under so much pressure right now, I don’t need the extra stress.

I feel so guilty for being approved for the Disability Facilities Grant. Just under Β£12000 to install a stair lift. A new accessible bathroom and a new back door so I can go into the garden.

Does it really cost that much for adaptations that disabled people so desperately need?

I will admit, I haven’t showered in over 3 months, simply because I cannot get upstairs. I still have a wash at the sink in the downstairs toilet every morning but I still feel dirty. I feel ashamed.

Everybody who shouldn’t know about the shower situation knows about it, so the whole world might as well know about it.

Because I don’t get any privacy. People don’t fucking respect it.

I don’t have the energy to type anymore today.

Posted by

Hey fellow superheroes! I'm Ami, I'm 24 and I live in Norfolk, UK. On my blog, UndercoverSuperhero, I openly talk about my recovery journey which stemmed from being in hospital and a specialist neurological rehabilitation centre for 9 months. I talk about how I maintain a positive mindset whilst coming to terms with my disability. I love superheroes, so much so that my partner and I are having a superhero themed wedding! I generally like to talk about anything and everything on my blog, I also have an ongoing series called "The Reality of..." which allows readers and bloggers to raise awareness of the disabilities, mental illnesses, chronic illnesses, impairments, that they live with as it is so important to raise awareness! Everybody has a voice! πŸ’š

16 thoughts on “Rant – 01

  1. Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment, Ami. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. It is horrible when you can’t have a proper shower and I get how you feel you have no privacy. You have every right to have been awarded the grant for your adaptations to your house so please don’t feel guilty for that. You are one of the strongest people I know and will get through this. If you need to talk you know where I am. Sending you love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hang in there Ami! You’ve got this, everyone has days where it all seems too much! Never feel guilty about the grant – they wouldn’t approve if not needed. It is so frustrating not to be able to shower, but from experience, once you get that shower, all those bad feeling will wash away! You will appreciate a shower like nobody has before! We are here for you! Rant as required!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You would have applied for the grant, been assessed for the grant and approved for the grant on merit. Never feel guilty for what you need. Everybody has a right to live their life with dignity. And if you want to rant, rant. Ain’t nobody’s business but yours.

    Liked by 1 person

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